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// Tech news at terminal velocity
cat 2026-02-13.md
$ cat TLDR.md
▸ Anthropic raises a staggering $30B Series G at a $380B valuation
▸ OpenAI counters with GPT-5.3-Codex-Spark, claiming 15x faster coding speeds
▸ Helion Fusion hits 150 million degrees Celsius, inching closer to infinite power
In a move that makes GDPs of small nations look cute, Anthropic has raised a $30B Series G. The AI arms race isn't just heating up; it's gone nuclear, with a valuation that suggests they're either building God or a really expensive chatbot.
Not to be outdone, OpenAI dropped GPT-5.3-Codex-Spark. It runs on custom 'plate-sized' chips and reportedly codes 15 times faster than its predecessor, which is great news for PMs and terrible news for your job security.
Google is rolling out a major upgrade to its reasoning model, 'Deep Think.' It's designed for heavy-duty science and engineering tasks, presumably because the regular Gemini was too busy hallucinating glue on pizza.
Sony just shadow-dropped 'God of War Sons of Sparta,' a 2D side-scroller prequel. It's available right now on PS5, proving that sometimes the best marketing strategy is just giving people the game.
Fusion startup Helion has reached plasma temperatures of 150 million degrees Celsius. They're racing toward a 2028 deadline to sell power to Microsoft, and for once, 'fusion is 20 years away' might actually be wrong.
GitHub is sounding the alarm on maintainer burnout as AI-generated PRs flood repositories. They're rolling out new tools to help triage the noise, because 'LGTM' doesn't mean much when a bot wrote the code and another bot reviewed it.
Cloudflare introduced 'Markdown for Agents,' a tool that converts websites into structured data for AI. We're officially entering the era where optimizing your site for human eyeballs is secondary to making it tasty for LLMs.
In a shock to the dev community, the MinIO repository has been marked as 'no longer maintained.' The object storage giant seems to be shifting gears, leaving self-hosters scrambling for answers.
The AWS SDK for Go v2 now supports nested virtualization. It's Inception for servers—running VMs inside your VMs so you can debug while you debug.
Didero secured $30M to put manufacturing procurement on autopilot. Their AI agents sit on top of ERPs to coordinate tasks, proving that even the most boring enterprise software isn't safe from the agentic revolution.
Waymo is begging DoorDash drivers to please shut the doors on its robotaxis. Apparently, autonomous vehicles still can't master the complex human art of 'not leaving the door wide open.'
Bryan Johnson is launching an 'Immortals' program where you can pay $1M to learn how to not die. Or you can just eat your veggies and save the cash—your call.