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// Tech news at terminal velocity
cat 2026-02-27.md
$ cat TLDR.md
▸ Paramount snaps up Warner Bros. Discovery after Netflix leaves the chat.
▸ Jack Dorsey cuts Block's staff in half and warns 'you're next'.
▸ Google launches 'Nano Banana 2' (yes, really) to dominate image gen.
In a plot twist worthy of 'Succession', Netflix walked away from the bidding table, leaving David Ellison's Paramount to acquire Warner Bros. Discovery. The streaming wars just got a new nuclear power, and HBO finally has a new stepdad.
Google's branding team has apparently given up, or they're geniuses. The new 'Nano Banana 2' (Gemini 3.1 Flash Image) promises Pro-level fidelity at flash speeds. It's ridiculous, it's fast, and it's probably generating this newsletter right now.
Perplexity has launched 'Computer', an AI agent designed specifically to boss around *other* AI agents. It's middle management for LLMs, and honestly, we're just glad someone else has to deal with the Jira tickets.
The new Ring Pro claims a 15-day battery life (up to 45 with the case), which is roughly 14 days longer than my attention span. They're betting big on 'biointelligence' to win back the US market.
CEO Dario Amodei is drawing a line in the sand, refusing to grant the Pentagon unrestricted access to Anthropic's models despite a looming deadline. It's a rare moment of ethical friction in a sector that usually sprints toward defense contracts.
Block (formerly Square) just cut its headcount by 50%, and Dorsey explicitly stated, 'your company is next.' It's a brutal return to 'Founder Mode' that makes other efficiency drives look like a casual Friday.
After years of boring black rectangles, Mobile World Congress is promising 'Robot Phones' and other oddities. Honor is leading the charge with hardware that might actually do something new for a change.
The new Copilot coding agent can now self-review its code and hand off tasks to the CLI. It also includes a model picker, so you can choose exactly which flavor of AI hallucinates your unit tests.
Elon's xAI spent $7M on a sound wall to dampen the roar of its massive Memphis supercomputer, but neighbors say it's about as effective as a screen door on a submarine. The 'whines and roars' continue.
Finally, the hard science we need. Researchers have determined that tread geometry—specifically blocks designed to play Star Wars music—determines the frequency of your shoe squeak.
In a tragic act of bureaucratic vandalism, US Customs destroyed a rare floppy disk while inspecting it. Digital preservationists everywhere just felt a disturbance in the Force.
Lawmakers claim the US Military used a laser to swat a Border Protection drone out of the sky in Texas. Friendly fire has entered the sci-fi era.