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// Tech news at terminal velocity
cat 2026-05-28.md
$ cat TLDR.md
▸ • Vertu drops a $6,880 foldable phone for CEOs, complete with an open-source AI agent to run their companies.
▸ • A Google engineer gets busted for making $1.2M on Polymarket using leaked "Year in Search" data.
▸ • Websites have found a terrifying new way to track you: measuring your SSD's timing patterns via JavaScript.
Tired of the algorithm feeding you the same slop? YouTube is rolling out a new feature that lets you generate custom, continuously refreshing video feeds using text prompts. Powered by Gemini, you can finally demand a feed consisting entirely of "1990s Japanese commercials" and "cats falling off furniture."
Google is upgrading its smart home ecosystem with Gemini 3.1, allowing your security cameras to trigger automations based on natural language descriptions. You can now set your house to lock the doors and play the Imperial March whenever a "Red BMW enters the driveway," provided you're willing to pay for the Premium subscription.
Luxury phone maker Vertu is back with the "Alphafold," a foldable phone aimed at CEOs who want to run their companies from a device wrapped in calfskin. It features the "Hermes Agent" (built on Nous Research's open-source project) to handle enterprise approvals and scheduling. If calfskin is too pedestrian, you can spec it up to $46,800 with alligator leather and 18K gold.
Prediction markets are having their first real insider trading crisis. A Google information security engineer was just charged with fraud after allegedly using confidential internal "Year in Search" data to make $1.2 million on Polymarket. He placed massive, perfectly timed bets on which public figures would top the search charts, proving that the house doesn't always win if the player literally works for the house.
Just when you thought browser fingerprinting couldn't get any creepier, researchers have detailed "FROST" (Fingerprinting Remotely using OPFS-based SSD Timing). Malicious sites can now silently profile your activity and see what other apps you have open by exploiting solid-state drive timing patterns entirely from within JavaScript.
The European Commission just slapped Temu with a €200 million fine for breaching the Digital Services Act. Apparently, turning a blind eye to illegal products on your platform is frowned upon in the EU.